Our grandmothers, our great grandmothers, they are all a part of who we become as women. Their beliefs, their uniqueness, their Love or lack of Love. Everything that made them strong or weak, everything we never got to know about them; somehow is sewn into the tapestry of our being. But nothing is unchangeable, nothing is made to last through generations. Everything is learned behavior, everything can be changed if needed. Our ancestral mothers are with us through life, and they are cheering for us to be Happy, to find what truly liberates us and brings us Joy, a joy they might have been denied.
My mother lost her mom at a very young age; I believe she was 6 or 7 when she saw her mom die in their childhood home, after hours of labor and a hemorrhage the midwife just couldn’t stop. In my moms words “My mom knew she was dying, and I know she was so sad and desperate in her final breaths. She didn’t want to leave us”. She left 10 children in the hands of such a stern father. In those times a father had every right to hit and humiliate, and treat a child as they pleased. It was a very sad childhood my mother lived through, but even through all this I can say my mother is a miracle of her mothers love living through her. My mom was raised in a house of hell, she saw unimaginable abuse from a father that didn’t deserve to be a father. A man that didn’t change with the times. But, I don’t like to dwell in his story much, I like to dwell in the beauty of life and the amazing love my mother houses in her heart. She is a strong woman, a survivor of life’s hardships, and the light of my life. I am who I am because of my amazing mother.
To my daughter; my joy, my love, my everything beautiful in the world. You came to me as a gift from God and that will always be. I was married to the love of my life, living 600 miles from my parents. Constantly crying because I was young and I missed my parents like crazy. Two years into our marriage we started trying to get pregnant, and it wasn’t happening. I would pray and pray that God would bless me with a child, my heart desperately wanted someone to love and pour all my love into. Then after six months of trying, my prayers were answered and I was blessed with my Moni. A child so precious, so beautiful, so gentle, so perfect. I can’t put into words what a gift that child has been to me and will always be. May God keep blessing her always, and may he also gift her with the greatest gift ever, a daughter that is love in human form. I love you daughter of mine, and all of your successes are treasured in my heart as mine. In my weird way of seeing the world and life, I feel our ancestral mothers and grandmothers have been healed, and they all smile upon us and rejoice in the women we are. They are us and we are them.